We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
