i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
