I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
