i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
