eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
