But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
