Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
