He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
