been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
