Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
