She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize