i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
