He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
accomplished twins. life is a go
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
