So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize