Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
