Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
