Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
