So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
well you can't waste a boner
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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