ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
