Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
