I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you traded sex for a burrito?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
