woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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