one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
