I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
