small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
