my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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