apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize