And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
my poor anus
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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