I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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