I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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