Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
