I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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