I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
