How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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