Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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