Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
