After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
