Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
