Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
