hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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