Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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