Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
