Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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