I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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