so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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