yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
