she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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