I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize