He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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