her vagine was all disorganized.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
