It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
