They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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