Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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