i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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