Do you still have your period?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
