Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My cat gives me a boner
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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