She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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