At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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