not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
