so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
