I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
