All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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